i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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