why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize