Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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