dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
