I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
