ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
