Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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