Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
