I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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