I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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