She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
