just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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