it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize