so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
