Ketchup is God's man juice
He felt like a one man threesome
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
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Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
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There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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