yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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