So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
These tits shall not be calmed
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
