Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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