so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
