Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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