your thong is hanging out like whoa
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
