I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize