there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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