My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Is it because I queefed?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
