You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize