i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize