Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
