another moral hangover. fuck.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
