mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
