its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
