Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Randomize
