i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
