Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
