There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
