If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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