Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
