I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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