i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
