so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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