it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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