dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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