i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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