on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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