i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
