so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
