It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
