just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Sober January is a disaster.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
