Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
