Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
