I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize