dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
