I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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