Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize