It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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