Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
