she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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