I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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