I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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