it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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