Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
