My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
