They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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