I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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