he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
