I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I have demons in me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I want to be your penis for a week.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize