I want to make a zoo with you.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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