There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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