Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
