My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
