So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
