So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
